six years and seven days later
by No1Bookworm
Summary: saudade; (noun) a feeling of longing, melancholy, or nostalgia


_saudade; (noun) a feeling of longing, melancholy, or nostalgia_

* * *

What did Clarke think of this new development? Well, to start off with, she was pretty damn mad. She and Madi did not survive Praimfaya, and thrive on post-apocalyptic earth for six years just to deal with more space shit. Clarke could only imagine what Bellamy would say to all this. If he was here, she'd probably let him get a few choice swear words out before berating him for using such foul language in front of Madi. The thought made the ends of her mouth flicker upwards, before she remembered why she thought of it in the first place.

Now Clarke decided long ago that the universe hated her, but this? _This_ was a whole other level of unfortunate. As she sat hidden in the bushes, her ears picked up the sound of leaves rustling somewhere behind her. It wasn't long before Madi had reached her side. "The rover is in position and all the guns are online. Clarke, who are they?"

"It's some kind of prisoner transport." Clarke continued to scan the ship with her riflescope. _Eligius Corporation._ She passed the rifle to Madi, motioning for her to take a look. As the rifle is taken from her hand she sees it in her mind's eye. She sees Bellamy leaning close, teaching her how to use it for the first time. He tries to demonstrate, but either the delusional nut took its toll or it was simply a faulty rifle because he fails to shoot it right. She remembers doing her best not to snicker; it was the first time the both of them truly connected and she didn't want to ruin the moment. Its a bittersweet memory though, like most, so she pushes it away with some effort and turns her attention to the nightblood. "Do you recognise anything?"

Madi took a few moments to view their new and hopefully very temporary neighbours, but she shook her head, "No. What do you think they're here for?" Clarke could only guess. Prisoner transport, huh? She took one last look at the ship before heading back to the rover, hand over Madi's shoulder. Now more than ever, she wanted to radio him. One last ditch effort to see if they could pick her signal. But deep down Clarke knew there was a reason why she could never get through. A logical one at that.

What kind of person would search for a signal that should be dead?

Sighing, Cllarke takes back what she said earlier. This wasn't unfortunate, this was cruel. It was like she was brought back to seven years ago, only this time it was reversed. The prisoners were the sky people, and Clarke and Madi were the grounders. Except Clarke didn't have a "kru" to back her up. She only had Madi. Not that she was forgetting how lethal her little nightblood could be but, two people against that ship? Not a chance.

Speaking of Madi, Clarke glances to the passenger seat where she's buckling up. Clarke's throat constricts at the thought of losing her. No, Clarke is not going to lose her. She might've failed to protect a young girl before, but she won't fail again. If the prisoners even so much as threaten her little nightblood, she'll kill them. All of them.

Not for the first time, she thinks Bellamy would be just as protective of Madi.

* * *

Bellamy was good. He's been good. Everyone on board was still alive and while they still need to ration food and water, no one ever goes hungry. Its been six years and seven days since they've left earth. And if you think about it, its actually quite the accomplishment; considering they've only planned for half a decade. Bellamy was proud. And he knows Clarke would be proud too. _Thump._

But, if he were to be honest, he was not "good." Not really. Don't get him wrong, he had done an exceptional job as leader. His motley crew had gone a long way from their dysfunctional past. But six years and seven days later, when they look to him as their only leader he can't shake the feeling that they shouldn't. _Thump._

And he knows that no one has forgotten about her. No one has forgotten the fact that he used to be part of a matching set. It's just, with every day that passes Clarke becomes less of an actual person and more of a story. Something about that doesn't sit right with him. She was real, _she was real_ he repeats in his mind. _Thump._

He remembers the time Raven was under the control of ALLIE. She spoke harshly about all of them, but upon reflection a lot of what she said was true. He was a knight. Loyal and faithful to her, he served and protected her just as she relied and trusted him. Once upon a time he was a knight. But now that's part of a story too. A knight isn't really a knight without his princess. _Thump._

He knows this isn't healthy, obsessing over a lost life, but this was Clarke. And six years and seven days later he still can't bring himself to believe that she is truly lost to him forever. Whenever someone speaks of her in past tense his chest aches with a pain that hasn't lessened since he closed the ship door. The only difference between now and then is that he's learned to hide it really well. Now only Raven suspects something is still not right with him. _Thump._

"Bellamy? Everyone's ready for the meeting." He shifts his eyes from Earth to the reflection of Raven on the glass. "On my way."

She views him skeptically before shrugging. Raven had learned not to push him in moments like these. "Take your time, we're not in a rush anyways." And with that, she leaves him to his thoughts once more. If Clarke were here, she'd tell him to just go now and get it over with. _Thump._

With a resigned sigh, he pads over to the door, fiddling with the bandage wrapped around his left hand. The same one Clarke had adjusted when he bruised his fist all those years ago. He was a fucking sap. _Thump_.

He opens the door, and starts the meeting.


End file.
